Marriage reconciliation can be a difficult process if it’s not handled correctly…
It is essential that you examine your relationship as it was prior to your break up. Work out what went wrong, if you don’t already know, and determine if it’s possible to rectify the problems that caused your marriage break up in the first place.
If you don’t do this then you are setting off down the same path to another split up.
Be honest with your assessment when examining your prior relationship with your spouse.
If there are things you are prepared to change then change them. Of course it is entirely possible that 100 percent of the fault for the relationship break up may not have been yours.
However if you are the one to make the first move in trying to re-establish the relationship you need to be able to demonstrate to your ex partner that you have accepted fault (or some of it) and are prepared to change in the interests of getting back together.
How to get back together.
When it is time to approach your ex partner with the proposal to consider marriage reconciliation after a period of separation you need to decide how you are going to arrange a meeting. You could simply take the bull by the horns and phone, or you could write, send an email, or text. In our experience these methods are not particularly effective.
Then there is the “chance meeting” whereby you accidentally bump into your ex at a place that you know they frequent.
Many of our clients have had mutual friends arrange a low key meeting… this is the method that we personally favor. The more mutual friends you have the easier this is going to be. In our experience there is always someone you can trust to eloquently convey the message on your behalf.
It pays initially just to have a quick, superficial chat. Check how they are getting along and ask if they’d like to do something non-committal, say coffee or a meal. The trick is to not make a huge thing of it, just re-establish contact and lay the groundwork for a future meeting.
Take care with your appearance. You need to pay attention to every detail of your looks, including your clothes, your hair, your gait, your shoes, your manners and so on.
Impressing your ex spouse is vitally important at this early stage. Maintaining your appearance will show confidence and respect for yourself and for your ex partner.
Make a point in complimenting your ex… but be genuine. You are going to want to make sure that they feel good when they are around you if you really want to get them back. Talk about the good times that you both spent together, bringing up good memories from the past… some of the best highlights from the days of your relationship, and enjoy the reminiscing while simultaneously working to achieve your marriage reconciliation objective.
Open up to your ex and if their feelings for you are rekindled, they will certainly let you know.
Some important tips when you meet.
- You may take responsibility for some of the problems in your marriage and vow to make amends but avoid apportioning blame for your break up… it can distract from your objective.
- Be willing to undertake professional help in an endeavor to reconcile your marriage, if that’s what your ex also wants. Even suggest it yourself if need be.
- Act promptly on any actions that you both agree should be taken… don’t for goodness sake procrastinate. Don’t let concerns over trustworthiness sabotage your efforts.
The process of marriage reconciliation at this stage may still require a lot of work on your part but given willingness on both sides, the chances of success will most certainly be greatly enhanced.