What it means to say “I Do”…
When two people marry they vow to spend the rest of their lives with each other…
It’s a declaration on their part that there is only one person that they want to spend their lives with whether “in sickness or in health, in good times and bad, forever and ever”. The fact that making their marriage work will require a considerable degree of effort doesn’t even enter most couples minds at this time.
What is the average length of a marriage?
It’s quite sad that many couples are just not prepared to spend the effort in making their marriage work… In many western countries over 45% of all first marriages end in divorce within five years from the time the couples take their vows.
For more information on this important topic check out our article on stopping divorce.
Staying together in good times is easy, but in times when married relationships become strained many people take ending it as the easiest option.
“We marry the person we love … we must then learn to love the person we marry”.
Making your marriage work – some basic tips.
With a little work and care, you can save your marriage and restore your relationship. There is a very basic three step process to making a marriage work and to bring back the good times:
First – Decide that making your marriage work is something that you really desperately want.
This may sound very simple however it is probably the hardest step of all. It’s easy to say you want to save your marriage… but as we all know that doesn’t necessarily mean it is going to happen. As with all goals in life when you decide that making your marriage work is what you really want then you need to make this your number one focus.
Your purpose in life needs to become focused on this one goal – that of saving your marriage. Even if it means making major adjustments to work habits, changing jobs, adjusting your family and social life… if it means not catching up with friends then you don’t catch up with friends.
Nothing should be more important than your marriage.
With everything you are doing you should be asking “will this help me realise my goal of making my marriage work”? The answer should always be yes.
Second – Figure out what is wrong.
Again, this is not as easy as it sounds. More often than not the things that trigger arguments aren’t the underlying problems in a marriage… it’s these problems that you need to uncover. Sit down with your partner and acknowledge that things are not working as they should… be honest and open about how you are both feeling in the relationship.
Open this conversation by asking “How can I make you happier”?
A man’s first natural response to that is probably going to be sexual. Please don’t assume he is joking or being crude. Very often a man needs a strong physical component in a relationship, so take the response on board. Then say “Okay, what else”?
Third – FIX IT.
Once a marital problem is acknowledged and defined, it becomes so much easier to actually see what the steps are to making marriage work again.
The problem almost always contains the solution. If the problem is… “I don’t feel I have enough time with you” then the solution has already presented itself. Likewise if it’s… “I don’t have enough time to myself” you can move the other way.
The key is to identify the real problems and have an honest shot at fixing them. Successful marriages don’t just happen they take constant effort, compromise, communication, sharing and love on the part of both spouses.
So there you have the tips to marriage care and making a marriage work. It may sound really simple but believe us these are easy first step strategies that you can employ to help save your marriage.
Fighting for your marriage rather than fighting in your marriage.
If you are really serious about making your marriage work you can be on your way to repairing your relationship within minutes. Counselors Amy Waterman and Andrew Rusbatch are the authors of the best selling “Save My Marriage Today“ guide.
This is a comprehensive guide to saving your marriage even if your partner doesn’t want to work on it.
This guide is full of easily implemented and practical ways to ensure that stability and love are returned to your relationship.