One of the most frustrating emotions a couple can experience in their life, especially when children are involved, is when they file for divorce. How to avoid it and save your marriage?
Remember the moment when you thought that the person you were about to marry was the greatest one in the world. You could never even imagine something would go wrong with your marriage and you made a commitment to each other to always stay together.
It is inescapable truth of life that couples go through hard times in their marriage. But before you make a decision to break up, it is worth for both of you to think and try to save your marriage first.
How To Avoid Divorce?
Many couples after getting a divorce tend to look into their past. They reflect about the mistakes their partner has previously made, which have led them to a place of hatred and reluctance to forgive. If you want to avoid a divorce, you must focus on the present and hold a commitment to moving forward. It seems difficult to forgive someone who hurt you. But true forgiveness happens when you forget about what it is that they have done to hurt you.
One mistakenly can conclude that by forgiving another person you acknowledge your weakness or that your feelings don’t matter, that you didn’t “win”. Quite the contrary, by forgiving someone you show up stronger for being able to endure the pain that they have caused you and that you allow the natural love that resides in everyone’s heart to guide your decisions. Instead of blaming your partner, take the initiative into your hands and focus on making things right.
In order to stay away from divorce and save your marriage you must also be realistic on your expectations about your marriage. When two people decide to get married, each one expects of their marriage to be a particular way. But each person is unique and therefore his/her expectations are quite different which can cause dispute or even quarrel later on in the relationship.
Ladies, if you have a relationship with somebody who loves to watch football on a Sunday afternoon but you think that it’s better to spend your Sunday afternoon by going for shopping, do not expect that when you get married your husband will suddenly put his foam fingers aside to devote an entire Sunday shopping with you.
Sure, it would be great if they voluntarily went shopping with you instead of watching the big game. But don’t think that it will happen on a weekly basis. As much as we would like to, we cannot change our partners. If they were a cleanness freak before you got married, they are going to stay a cleanness freak throughout your lives together. Find out how to keep realistic expectations of how your marriage should look like in order to prevent yourselves from disappointing one another.
Married pairs who are able to nourish forgiveness and get rid of unlikely expectations can help recover their relationship. And don’t think that it is too late to make things up and bring back the relationship that you both have devoted your lives to. Before you make final decisions about going through with a divorce, it is worth to make a commitment to try to save your marriage – and make it a happy one.