What are the solutions to coping with life after a marriage break up?
Unfortunately, over 45% of first time marriages in most western countries end in divorce. The percentages are much higher for second and subsequent marriages. Some people are able to cope after a break up because it brings relief from an unbearable marital situation. Others of us have difficulty in coming to terms with the loss and change in status…
If you have recently broken up does your to-do list look something like this?:
- Watch loads of TV
- Walk the dog
- Avoid the neighbors
- Avoid your friends
- Cry a lot
All these things, and many others are normal responses to feelings of loss after a break up. During the early stages of a separation your actions will be fueled by emotion.
Some relationship break up advice.
If your marriage has irretrievably broken down, then it really doesn’t matter who has been the one to walk away at the end of the day. This relationship is now over and matters such as care of children, finances, chattels and property need to be sorted out on a legal basis and then it’s time to start a new life.
Don’t ever let your partner make you feel guilty. You’re ready to begin a new phase in your life and it will not include a romantic relationship with your ex. It is best if you retain a positive relationship of some sort with them, but if the relationship has ended for the right reasons then separation is best for both of you.
What do you do when your marriage is over?
Conclude ownership and child care matters as quickly as possible then take the opportunity to put yourself back together and start again.
The responsibility of having to cope with these details in the early stages of relationships breaking up is a frightening concept. Try to be positive, let go of self pity and force yourself to engage in activities that will help pull you out of your feelings of emptiness.
Should you ever consider reconnecting?
Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book”?
That is something you have to decide. A good many relationships can be saved after a break up if certain conditions are met. If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period as an even stronger couple.
However, if you are both determined to walk away rather than attempt to save your marriage then it’s best to end a relationship with a clean break and move on.
Moving on after a break up.
Just remember that there are always people out there who are going to treat you with love and respect and provide a shoulder for you to cry on.
Take the opportunity to discuss your position with your friends, as and when appropriate. If you feel uncomfortable doing this or with consulting a counselor then there are many support groups out there who are familiar with the trauma of relationship break ups and will gladly take you under their wing and provide you with the emotional support and guidance that you may need.
However don’t rely too heavily on any relationship to conquer your feelings of loss or depression.
It is important to understand that others can only provide support and guidance… the remedy is really in your hands.
It is vitally important that you concentrate on building your confidence and self esteem as early as possible after a break up. Give it time; the sadness of your loss will pass. Happiness, the like you have never known, may be just around the corner.
Break up support
A marriage break up can be almost likened to a death in the family… it appears so final.
The suffering that it causes the parties involved can be quite devastating and may even lead to depression and the inability to deal with any possible future relationship.
Many people find it difficult to cope with a break up without professional help, to this end we strongly recommend Amy Waterman’s “Save My Marriage Today “.
Your marriage might very well be over, however this guide will provide you with the information and means to get over your break up and move on… perhaps into a new relationship.