There’s a lot more to building a healthy relationship with your ex than love and romance.
There’s also companionship, communication, time and attention, acceptance and forgiveness.
If your relationship has failed in the past and you still want to give it another go, then it’s time to go back to the drawing board.
Identify the problems you faced but did not resolve first time around and use these love making strategies to make sure of success second time around.
The Importance of Being Right
What are the little things that you argue about with your ex?
Toilet seat up or down, whose turn to clean the bathroom, clothes not stored properly.
Some of us are neat and orderly and some of us aren’ t. Who cares if the dishes aren’t stacked properly? The neat and tidy one that’s who.
And the other one gets a mouthful.
These are some of those silly little things that create tension. Emotion and angry words often follow tension.
Both of you have to ease off…one has to be more accepting and the other more aware. If your relationship just cannot tolerate personality differences, it is better you move on and find your clone.
Arguing with passion
Sure fire disaster. Starting over again doesn’t mean that you won’t ever disagree again. Disagreements will always be a part of any relationship and that’s a necessary part of a maturing relationship……but only if you are able to control your temper and your feelings.
Uncontrolled angry words and emotions are sure to ruin any relationship.
Talk .. then listen
Here is the first and last rule of successful communication….listen!
Remember it well.
Communication is pretty simple in theory. All you have to do is talk ….. and then listen. That goes for your ex as well.
Why is this so hard?
Our egos get in the way.
We think we only need to be heard for the other to see the light, so we don’t stop.
Doesn’t work.
Often you will have to agree to disagree and accept your ex’s right to do so as well.
Listening allows you to hear and feel your partner’s passion. If you are not convinced, say so without ridiculing your partner’s point of view.
Just think how boring life would be if we all agreed with each other.
Secrets
Have you any secrets? Told any fibs?
You can lie about opinions or lie about facts.
In times of insecurity or vulnerability, a little opinion lie can be a good thing to calm an anxious partner, so in response to “Will everything work out?’” a “Sure Babe” is fine even if the outcome is uncertain.
When you have done something inappropriate, which you then deny or hide, you are in the second category.
What level of honesty do you both require in your relationship?
And how far will you go in order to risk the good foundation of the relationship you are in?
Couples have their own secrets to keep but as soon as you commit marital and relationship sins like adultery, you become unworthy of your partner’s trust.
If you want to start a new and honest relationship with your ex, do things the right way, disclose practically everything, and make sure you do not have to tell lies.
Be worthy of your partner’s trust.
Sharing
When you enter a relationship, it is no longer Me but We.
You have to re think your wants and desires. You now have shared responsibilities for the welfare of each other.
Unconditional sharing is a vital part of building a better relationship.
Fun Fun Fun Fun
Good and lasting relationships are filled with fun and adventure. Life can become dull and boring when both of you are always preoccupied with work and other mundane things.
If you keep it that way, there’s little hope for success in your relationship.
If you want an enjoyable long lasting partnership, invite fun and frolic into your life.
Have weekend getaways, go on dinner dates, watch movies together.
There are hundreds of things that both of you can do together in order to start all over again and establish a better romantic relationship.
Show your love
In failed relationships, partners fall gradually out of love.
This is usually because of failure in one or more of the love making strategies I have listed above.
A simple fix that covers many other faults is the expression of your love.
Tell your ex that you love them. Give compliments, a hug, a soft touch, a smooch….but still work on all the rest.
Guarantee commitment
Are you fully committed to your relationship?
Now you can identify the areas in which you were previously lacking, make a pact with your ex to work on them.
It’s so easy to just give up the minute you encounter another major disagreement or misunderstanding. This is where your mutual commitment to persevering is essential.
If you want to rebuild and start over, ensure that you have one hundred percent commitment to make it work.
Giving up on a relationship means you have to start all over again.
A partnership break up always causes a lot of pain.
You have invested a lot of time and emotion with your ex and if there is any love left, it makes very good sense to nourish and restore it.
Work on all the little things you overlooked before and take your relationship with your ex to a new and wonderful place.
